You probably look in the mirror every day – multiple times. You definitely know what you look like, but do you really know who you are? Do you know what it's like to be on the other side of you?
I use a saying from GiANT – “Know Yourself to Lead Yourself.” Great leaders must start by knowing themselves well – knowing their tendencies, celebrating their leadership voice, and recognizing the good and negative impacts their voice can bring to others. To do this, it begins with taking an intentional look at yourself to see the specific patterns of your behavior that are contributing to any negative reality that you are experiencing in your office or at home. Do you know what your tendencies are when you are worried, nervous, or angry?
Our hardwired tendencies create actions that create consequences that lead to our reality. This continual loop will produce the same outcomes unless you change your actions. If you are not happy with your reality, such as constantly being frustrated with your colleagues, kids, or spouse, you must start by looking at YOUR patterns of behavior and contributions to it. Change begins with you.
I’ll tell you from firsthand experience it’s not an easy process, but it was worth it for me to call out what actions I wanted to change and then own them.
I couldn’t do it alone – I had a guide, who had been through the process, help me through it. We can’t always see the broccoli in our own teeth and need someone else to let us know where it is, but we have to do to the work ourselves of getting it out.
We all have broccoli in our teeth. Do you know it's there? Are you working on getting it out or maybe it's turning people away from you? The more conscious you are of your tendencies, the more emotionally intelligent and self-aware you become.