Is it time to be the elephant in the room?

Have you ever been in a meeting with “the Boss” and that person dominated the conversation the entire time? Maybe you are guilty of this?  

If you're the most senior person in the room and you're doing most of the talking, you're learning the least. The best leaders flip that ratio on purpose.

I was struck by the hippo/elephant analogy when I read the book The Friction Project  by Robert Sutton and Huggy Rao.   

The HIPPO: highest paid, talks the most

HIPPO is an acronym for highest paid person in the room. Hippopotamuses have giant mouths and tiny ears.  

That makes them a great metaphor for someone who pushes their power and influence onto others.  

Excerpt from the book : “When people, especially men, gain power, they hog airtime and interrupt others. Unfortunately, the more leaders blab, the less they learn about what to make hard and easy, what drives people crazy, what works, and how to fix things.”  

When they are doing all the talking, there is no room for listening to others’ thoughts and opinions. The book suggests taking inspiration from elephants.     

Elephants have giant ears and a small mouth

When you truly listen and pay attention to the ideas and interests, you not only increase your influence as a leader you also allow the genius ideas that others have come alive.

How much of the talking do you think you do in team meetings? Or around the dinner table, or socializing with friends?  

Put another way, how often do you stop talking and let others share, without interrupting them?   

How to talk less and listen more

I challenge you to talk less and ask more questions. Be curious. Devote undivided attention to the employees (or family members or friends) who talk the least. You might be surprised by what they share with you.   

Be aware, though, that if you’ve been more of a hippo than an elephant for a while, it could take others some time to get used to this “new” you – the elephant in the room. 

Do you know what it’s like to be on the other side of you? Do you know your communication tendencies?    

Start by taking the 5 Voices assessment to learn more about YOU. The assessment is one part personality, one part communication style, and one part relational intelligence tool.  It is simply the starting point for knowing where to get better.      

Self-awareness + Great Coaching = Magical Transformation!